I am a list maker. To Do. To Get. To Fix. To Find. To Start. To Finish. To Go. To Be. Scribbled on post-its or in the silent sections of the soul. Life’s changes have a way of taking all the lists tossing them in a hat, dumping them out in the backyard during a windstorm and still expecting you to get things done.
Sadly more and more of late I find myself unable to go on. A depression grips me as I watch the metaphorical bits swirl about; disappearing over fences or sticking in mud never to be readable again. Loosing the lists and loosing a little dream.
A very big and scary change is coming in my life. I will become a stay at home mom. No office, no commute, no dead lines or politics. Sounds great, right? However, I’ll have no income and not circle of friends.
Many people have made suggestions for stay at home jobs, but I’ve been forced to be truthful with myself; I have a tiny bit of talent and a whole lot of time. I’m a maker of velvet flowers, which are nice in a way, but not practical, nor truly an art. Maybe if I learn a lot of them . . . perhaps I should make a list:
tatting - learn
bookbinding - improve
bonsai – try not to kill one tree this year
growing real roses – buy a new kind
painting – finish one.
baking – learn two new recipes
1 comment:
Robin you far underestimate yourself!!!!
So first, I have to say I thought your blog title was a clever fantasy, a...'oh how cool would that be'...akin to walking in the Shire and meeting Frodo. I saw the picture and was just flat out impressed that you'd found a picture somewhere half as cool as your idea. And I learn....YOU MAKE THEM!!!!! So, bottom line...what do you charge? ;) I want one. :) And stay at home Mom with no income, here's your chance ha ha ha... ;) No I'm not wealthy but I am sincere. You have far more talents that you give yourself credit for, greater than your ability to make velvet roses...which I have to say is fairly AWESOME...and in my world you are one of a kind. However maybe the real thing you should focus on is resetting your values...not so much on how much you will make this year (GDP and IRS stuff), and not so much in how much you can produce (paintings, velvet flowers, etc) but resetting the value, like resetting your clocks. You are amazing, your daughter is truly a miracle...and yes staying at home is challenging, and daunting...there is also unprecedented value in it too. So learn to tat, bind some books, create bouquets that stun and amaze, drink in the every day little moments of being a Mommy (they will go by all too quickly and rarely do the big ones herald themselves, most will catch you by surprise), explore the world, breath, laugh, live...be the brilliant person you are, unfettered.
Love,
Kelly B
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