It’s a Level 3 Spell.

My hat is off to Lord Voldemort. Never have I seen a basic level spell (shatter) used in such fine form. The Dark Lord may be evil, but when it comes to a wizard battle he’s top of the class. The latest installment of the Harry Potter Movie franchise is the best so far. I out right hated the book, but the movie redeems the plot line nicely. Finally the wizard world becomes real for me.

My poor husband was dragged to it on Friday night, which I think is where my terribly off week started. The depression hit bottom this week when I found that Springville Library has reposted the position I applied for without letting me know that I “didn’t get the job”. HOW TACKLESS IS THAT? This event, along with my husband not being there when I needed him and tongue lashing from another when all I really wanted was to clear the gloom from my head, sent me strait to the bottom.

The universe ripped me open and left me flayed on the salt flats. It’s amazing how being thrown to the wolves brings clarity. I’ve decided there is a God, but he’s not the loving, kind, “comforting” guy that many Christian groups want you to believe. Have you read the Old Testament? How about the New Testament? There’s proof enough for me without having to turn to the Book of Mormon for yet another witness that God doesn’t play nice with the humans. In fact I think he’s akin to the teacher that may know his stuff, but nobody wants to take a class from him. I’ve decided to drop his class. I’m not becoming an atheist by any means, but I’m just not going to expect much from Him and His anymore.

God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.

--Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"

My Fish is happy as all get out. He’s in a new clean bowl, with plants. He can swim about and hide all he wants. He’s next to the TV on his own little shelf. The cat is intrigued. We call it Tama TV. She just sits and watches him from the couch. Maybe I’ll post a picture.

Hermits have no peer-pressure

In little over an hour I met four of my neighbors (4 households) and three cats. I had volunteered to do a survey for the neighborhood committee; they are looking at parking permits because the local student population is horribly disrespectful to the residence. This act of kindness has had the non-too surprising effect of putting me off people. Oh, I’m sure they are perfectly nice creatures; like seagulls or Africanized bees, but still I think I’ll pass. I have decided to become a hermit. My husband is exempt from this of course, and maybe a few of my friends, but on the whole people are out. I’ll be nice to you at work and hope that you don’t kill me on the road, but that’s it. I’ll even ignore most of you at church or the grocery store as Jo Ann says, “Don’t make eye contact”.

Though… the nice young man who stopped and carried in the evil bucket of mud is cool. There I was trying to get 65+ pounds of drywall mud to work – all by myself in a place where they make you park in outer darkness, because Heaven forbid I interfere with Woodbury Corp.’s profit margins because of my need for heath and safety – when a young man … I’d say about 17-19 years old actually pulled over and carried it in for me. So, Justin Diamond you are exempt from the “ban on people”. I hope he has a cool girlfriend and that he gets a scholarship to the college of his choice.

The walls are still not done at work. I have still not heard from Springville library. And I am still depressed.

In this fog of darkness, however, is a small bright spot and his name is Guy, or Malcolm…or quite possibly Steve. He is a $40 beta. Yes, he is a genuine purebred fish. He has lovely orange skin with a hint of purple on the tail. He’s quite taken with his Rubbermaid bowl and place of prominence on the mantel. The 10-gallon tank he came in, complete with water, gravel, decoration and filters will be home to my guppies and tetras soon. I don’t think he minds at all though. He’ll have a new privet “bowl” that’s shaped like a martini glass…maybe I’ll call him Olive

Practicing Non-aggression

How wonderful are the teachings of Buddhism. There is such an acceptance of how horrible life is and then how to flow through it like water. One drop may not make that big of a difference, but when a river flows it changes the landscape forever.

I am a Buddhist as well as a Christian. My mind has been drawn closer to Buddha for the last couple of weeks. I had the privilege to attend the blessing and distribution of a mandal in Zion’s Park. Ok in Springdale, which is right next to it. But it was the most wonderful experience and well worth the 4+ hour drive. To see the monks working to create such a thing of beauty, and then gladly destroy it; I am in awe.

There were easily two hundred people at the ceremony. Such prayer and devotion to making the world a little better. Like those bits of sand, it may seem so small and ineffective, but I’m sure everyone there will remember the experience. How the voices of the monk seem to make the universe sit up and take notice. We walked for ten or more minuets from the community center to the Virgin river; stopping traffic. People came out of restaurants and hotel rooms. They took pictures and joined in. Even as the final prayers were being offered a young man and (probably) his mother came floating by in the river. It was wonderful. For an hour or so the world was at peace.

I miss that feeling.

I’m quite depressed right now and little things make large wounds. Do people know who hurtful action or a word can be? I live in a largely LDS (Mormon) community and even the people here, who are basically “nice” to those who know them, are full of angry words and opinions. We inflict pain in little ways all the time…like when we don’t signal while driving a car (that one make me very nervous when I drive – I hate driving) or when someone has a different opinion than us, or when we are at church and someone lets their child cry loudly so as to make it impossible to hear the sermon being given. Do we know how wounding our lives are to those around us. Human are selfish creatures.

I want things to happen. I want things to change. I want and then I forget the teachings of my Master – Christ the greatest Buddha

The Great Conjunction

Once more unto the breach my friends. I have tried to blog in the past and never liked the format. Add to that grad school or work and the the fact that I'd rather be reading or painting... well blogging just didn't happen. I am, however, attempting to take it up again in hope that it will become something interesting. I know I love reading blogs.

So what is up this week. I'm stressing over a job application. I really want it! It's the youth services librarianship at Springville Library, but I'm getting depressed about it. They were interviewing someone at ALA and I'm betting it was some perky kiddy librarian (aka romper room). Which means they likely interviewed better than I did - I always interview badly. And they'll get it. *sigh* I try to do everything right and nothing works out. I get really tiered of it. I can understand why some people go all nuts after tyring for so long and being passed up because it's who you know not how skilled you are.

The art museum has unpainted walls, but that will change this week.
World Horror Convention planning is coming along well. COME and VOTE for Hideyuki Kikuchi for life time achievement award! (more later) http://www.whc2008.org/

Finally got to see some movies this weekend. TRANSFORMERS is cool . . . pointless, but cool. Pan Labyrinth was good, disturbing, but good.

Well back to work.